The self induced struggle is what’s hindering you

Oh, the self induced struggle…

It’s such a tricky little thing.

It disguises itself into making you feel as if what you’re doing is really part of “the process” that everyone great talks about.

This year, I’ve been really honest with myself — like brutally honest. In my quest to be self aware, I have to own up to some truths that are less than pleasant.

One of those truths in particular is that I have certain behaviors and patterns that are stopping me from operating at my “next level.”


We all do.

We all have our own patterns that stop us. It’s a commonality that unites us and (in my opinion) is the reason why the “self-help” market is a $9.9 Billion dollar industry.

I can’t say I’m shocked by the estimate, it’s one of my favorite subjects to learn about. But, I also believe that woven within that lofty number is a sect of people who probably shouldn’t be there.

You know – the people whose struggle isn’t due to circumstance or environment.

The people whose struggle is because of their choices.

People like that homegirl that keeps putting herself in the exact same situation when she dates the same personalities and continues to complain about it to you.

Or the bestie who talks about how they hate their job, yet they haven’t put in one application for another employer.

Maybe it’s the friend-of-a-friend on your Facebook who clogs up your feed with status after status talking about how he’s crippling from anxiety with the amount of work he has to do; but he really just procrastinates so much that his work is overflowing.

It could even be the co-worker who always complains they are exhausted, but they’re going to sleep after midnight every night.

These scenarios are the very essence of the self induced struggle; completely preventable situations that grant you a first class seat on the struggle bus.

[Tweet “There’s little to no sympathy for the self induced struggle — @vannesiadarby”]

And this is where we have to get off the bus.

Am I saying that every person is at fault for their own perceivable demise? Of course not. Everyone has their own circumstances, life happens, and we all make mistakes. That’s the reason why there are words like “forgiveness” and “grace.”

However, I am saying that when you audaciously signed up to maximize your potential on this earth, you signed up for a level of responsibility that most people never attempt to grasp.

The older I get and the more my vision for my life takes shape, the more I realize that every decision I make either pushes me closer to accomplishing my goals or further away from their reach.

Every. single. decision.

And I hate to break it to you, but it’s the same for you too.

It doesn’t mean that you have to be in beast mode all the time, because knowing when to rest is just as important as knowing when to work. However, it does mean that our level of concentration and diligence towards our crafts must be fierce.

The great Denzel Washington put it like this:

“Dreams without goals are just dreams, and they ultimately fuel disappointment. Goals, on the road to achievement, cannot be achieved without discipline and consistency.”

(watch his full speech here if you really want to be inspired).

Remember, there’s little to no sympathy for the self induced struggle.

We’re grown now, like grown-grown.

Let’s be responsible with our gifts.

Always speak life,



  • Josiah Williams
    at 1 year ago

    That Denzel quote needs to everywhere. I need to see that every day. lol

    • Vannesia
      at 1 year ago

      Haha! The entire video is SUCH a great reminder of life and the appropriate priorities!! Thanks for reading, Josiah! xx

  • Josiah Williams
    at 1 year ago

    That Denzel quote needs to be everywhere. I need to see that every day. lol


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