Trying to fix yourself? Here’s the number one reason why you should stop that immediately.

The number one reason you should stop trying to fix yourself.

Being a millennial can be tough.

Trust me, this isn’t a “woe is me” sort of blog. But, it’s real and something that I never want to simply gloss over. It’s honestly the reason why I started blogging in the first place back in 2014.

Caught between two generations, there’s a subtle duality that occurs in our everyday lives.

We can relate to being tethered to a landline just as much as we understand the sleek functionality of our air pods. Many of us learned in a structured setting in college only then to be bitten by an entrepreneurial bug that has nothing to do with our degree(s).


The same technology that hyper connects us to innovative people and ideas can simultaneously barricade us in our thoughts, creating traps of social media envy and isolation.

You see? It’s a constant battle.

The distance between what we have learned and what we know is possible can cause a real problem. This constant angst can even make us feel as if we should be doing more, better, or bigger.

However, I’m going to challenge that belief with three words:

You’re not broken.

I know, it’s shocking.

The number one reason you should stop trying to fix yourself is because you’re not broken!

It’s something that I have to remind myself of too.

Ever since we were able to comprehend sentences, advertisements have told us we need products, services, and people to make us better. And remember, we’re hit with 5,000-10,000 messages per day.

Playing on one’s desires is not an unethical approach. Nor is it immoral or illegal. Companies use the nature of behavior to better position their messaging to their audience.

As a consumer of these messages, it’s important to know that because –  if we’re not careful – we’ll take the bait and believe that we’re missing something or that we’re incomplete.

And that my friend, is simply not true.

I was at a conference last week and heard the Vice President of Brand Strategy for Delta Dental of Tennessee, Missy Acosta say, “We’ve had sensationalism since we’ve had journalism.” It took my twitter fingers all of 10 seconds to get that down my timeline because it’s a reminder to continually put everything in its proper perspective.


Am I saying that you are perfect and everything is great? Absolutely not – that’s why “they” call us the Trophy Generation?anyway (because everyone receives a trophy for participating, not actually winning).

However, if we dilute our ability to fulfill our potential down to a Rubik’s Cube of self development, it’s a breeding ground for harsh criticism and self talk.

Remember, you’re not broken.

Reframing this one idea allows you to shape your motives and differentiate your approaches to fulfilling desires you’ve always had. Don’t do something because you need it to make you happy, make you popular, or make you money. That’s an insult to your gifts.

Do it because you have a desire to see that idea, passion project, or even the better version of yourself come to life. Get to work because that’s the passion God placed on your heart, not because you think someone is going to rip your purpose out from underneath you.

Instead of being motivated by lack, love yourself enough to make a change. The outcome may be the exact same, but the method and the mindset will make the journey a lot different.

[Tweet “My friend @vannesiadarby wanted me to remind you to stop trying to fix yourself because you’re not broken. “]

The game of life has evolved, but it’s in our favor. Take it one day at a time and be consistent in your work. You’ll get to where you’re supposed to be.

Always speak life,


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